Summer Spritzer (My official drink of Summer 2016)

This refreshing barely-alcoholic drink is popular all over Austria. 

How I know is because I've been and I've partaken (or is that partook?).

Now, I love red wine.

Love, love, love.

Ask anyone who knows me (especially my snoopy next door neighbour and my probation officer) and they will tell you, "GeeGee loves her red wine. Loves, loves, loves"

They may also add, "Loves it a little too much." but you should do like I do and ignore them. 

They're probably being extra judgy because their knickers are in a knot. 
Or perhaps they've had a crap day at the office; maybe they were caught sleeping at their desk, wearing a necklace made from paper clips and drooling onto a report that is past its deadline when their boss happened to pass by. 
Who knows? Human nature is a complex beastie to me. It's a mystery wrapped in a dirty sock, tucked away under the bed beneath two generations of dust-bunnies, as far as I'm concerned. 

So, yes to red room temperature wine but not on a day when the top layer of my skin is melting off in the scorching heat. 

Then, I/you want to do what the Austrians do...

You make a "summer spritzer".

A normal spritzer is half chilled white wine and half sparkling mineral water.

A summer spritzer calls for 1/8 white wine (must be good quality) and 7/8 sparkling mineral water.

Some people use club soda. 

I do not.

I find it harsh. 
I use Pellegrino and it has not disappointed my taste buds.

The Austrians add a slice of lemon on top.

I also add freshly picked (not picked by me..get real!) field strawberries because they infuse the drink with more flavour. 

You can drink pitchers of this stuff (and people do) and not get drunk and not have a massive hangover the next day.
Especially if you (in keeping with the Austrians trends) consume large quantities of schnitzel with your spritzers.

If this isn't worth celebrating, I don't know what is.

Cheers!

P.S. I was kidding about the probation officer.
P.P.S. I was not kidding about my snoopy neighbour. 
(More on her another day...)

Turkey Meatballs Parmigiana

I want to preface this recipe by letting y'all know that I did not want to cook last night.

I had to have emergency dental surgery for a broken tooth. Owie-ow-ow! Not gonna lie. It hurt like a son-of-a-witch. I was frozen up to the eyeball and couldn't wink or blink for two hours. On top of that. my face looked like I'd had a stroke. The ouchie side drooped, causing my jaw to hang to my shoulder. When I smiled, I bore a suspicious resemblance to those scary clowns we all fear in our dreams. All I could manage was a crazy leer because only one side of my mouth would turn up. I looked like a freak who could be billed as the head act in a freak show. I think you get the picture now. 

This is me drinking wine last night:
It cooled off from 158 degrees to 58 degrees, so I was cold for a change.

It still hurts despite two Percocet tablets. 

But, what was the question?

Ah, yes. 

Did I feel like cooking dinner?

Heck to the nyet.

That's my version of Russian slang for no.

But, I still had meat thawed out and close to its retirement.
I still had a growl in my belly.
I still had other empty mouths to feed. 

You know the drill.

So, I decided to make meatball parmigiana. 

I saw a picture of ground chicken meatballs on some cooking blog, but I didn't catch the recipe (and wasn't in the mood to grind my own chicken, y'all), so I had to wing it. But, not as in chicken wings winging it. Pay attention!

Winging it is good for adrenaline, I find. Nothing makes me feel like I'm in a dark alley with a rabid dog chasing me more than winging it with a recipe. 

In other words, it makes me feel alive in the most stressed out way possible.
Is that a good thing? Only my therapist knows for sure.

Anyway...here is my made up version of what I think meatball parm is.

INGREDIENTS

For the meat balls:

Minced turkey.

1 egg

Gluten free bread crumbs (you can use the normal ones)

Garlic powder

Italian seasonings (thyme, oregano, basil)

Spicy ketchup

tsp onion soup mix

salt and pepper

For the sauce

Olive oil for frying

1 large can of diced, stewed or plum tomatoes (pureed by my hand wand)
Chopped red onion (however much you like
Chopped red pepper (about a half)
Cup of chopped spinach
Minced clove of garlic
Splash of red wine
Italian seasonings of choice
Salt and pepper to taste
Crushed chilies (optional)

Directions

Pour a little oil into a pan that is on med high heat. Just enough to wet all the veggies.
Add onions and red peppers first for a couple of minutes and then add the garlic and spinach.

Add your meatballs...

Turn them over...
My daughter would respond to this with an insouciant DUH! but they she would be precisely the type who would not turn her meatballs over. Do not be my daughter! Be me, instead!

Add seasoned tomato sauce. By seasoned, I mean, use all the Italian spices in your cupboard. 
Here's a toast (clink, clink) to hoping you have more than one. If you do only have one Italian spice, may I ask WHY???
Okay, okay. Judge not lest ye be judged...just go ahead and toss it in.
But, put this on your next shopping list:
More Italian spices!
ha ha...

Add red wine...about half a cup. Try not to drink all your wine before this step.

Add shredded Asiago or Parmesan or Romano cheese. Because the wine makes your sauce sweet, a sharp cheese is needed for balance. Is this a universal law? Who knows? Is it my law? You bet!

Cook pasta of your choice (mine was Rotini) and dig in!
Grate more cheese on top and sprinkle some fresh basil.
I didn't because:
1) I was too hungry to go that extra mile.
2) I did not have company over for dinner and hence, nobody to impress.

Margarita Chicken & Grilled Corn

Or Margarita Pollo con Maize, as I like to call it in Spanish.
Anyway you say it, it looks and tastes wonderful.
Or wunderbar, as the Germans would say.
I love being multilingual, don't you?

WHAT YOU NEED:
1. Two large chicken breasts (otherwise you would have to call it Grilled Corn Without Margarita Chicken), cut in 6 pieces.
2. One chilled bottle of beer or wine (for to drink while cooking).
3. Freezer bag
4. Small frozen margarita mix
5. Cumin
6. Three cloves garlic
7. Chili powder (not shown because I forgot)
8. Salt & pepper
9. A grill pan or outdoor grill.
10. Tolerance for mosquitoes (they were quite nasty on this day).

Empty Margarita mix into a bowl...

Add cumin, salt and pepper...

You can use 3 cloves fresh garlic or 1 TBSP bottled garlic. It depends how lazy you are. Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.

1 lime squeezed into the mix...save a slice for garnish. Or not, if you want to be obstinate...

Put chicken into the freezer bag...

Pour the sauce into the bag with the chicken...

Reserve some sauce for basting...

Add 1 Teaspoon of chili powder. Just do it. I'm not in the mood for a spat.
If you want to get technical about it, it should have been added to the mix earlier but I forgot because I am not a good multi-tasker. I can't cook and take pictures at the same time. Or cook and use the internet at the same time. But, it doesn't stop me from trying.
Don't judge or I won't be able to be your friend.

Shake it...the chicken, not your behind. I know that drinking the wine will put you in a dancing mood, but please focus!

Refrigerate for 2-4 hours...

Ok, let's get over the knife scratches on my counter, shall we? I happen to hate my cheap1980s counter, so I don't respect it as much as I should. Get over it.

Take a raw cob of corn and remove husks. Set husks aside. Remove all hair. 
THEN: Take 1/2 cup butter, Italian seasoning, garlic & herb seasoning and mix together. Spread over corn and re-wrap corn with husks. You can tie it with string.
I didn't , but don't do as I do; just do as I say. HA HA! Now I sound like your mother. HA HA! 
But seriously, keep some of the butter mix to brush the corn with when it's on the grill.

A nice side view of BBQ, my Golden Pheasant beer and my Chinese Silver Grass...not exactly National Geographic, but not still a small cheap slice of paradise.

Okay, so I BBQ'd two pieces of corn two different ways. The cob on the right was boiled in a vegetable soup mix for 5 minutes and then quick grilled. The cob on the right was thrown on raw and took longer. Both were basted with seasoned butter. Deelish!!!

I added more chili powder to the basting sauce. The beer was to enhance cooking for the cook. I like my wine but wine and BBQ'ng don't mix. That's just my law. You don't have to abide by it, but you'll be happier if you do.

Finished.
Ain't it so purdy against the background of the paved driveway? 
The answer you are scrambling for is "YES".