1) Never walk between two cedar trees first thing in the morning without looking carefully unless you want to be picking an entire spider web (with spider and its breakfast buffet still attached) from your face.
2) Never pick up a damp towel from the back deck railing and shake it in a manner that will have earwigs flying onto your arm (gaaaaag!) and remaining attached to you no matter how much you seizure from the sheer horror of it.
3) Never answer your door when you see the men in black suits with brief cases and religious tracts coming up your driveway.
4) (and this is purely optional) Delay getting out of bed for as long as you can.
Because I foolishly did get out of bed, I suffered the consequences of 1, 2 & 3.
How I eventually got my day back on track was with a hearty breakfast followed by a slurpalicious lunch and finished off with a delightful supper that made my stomach sing instead of growl. Oh, and half a bottle of wine did the trick, too. Side note: Why is it that our stomachs growl most when we are in public and specifically in a quiet waiting room at the doctor's office or during a serious board room meeting with super serious people siting around the table (based on a true story)? Never mind. It's a mystery that will never be solved.
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