I dream of kitchens day...

So, you've probably noticed by now that I haven't been posting much in the last little while. 
If you haven't (noticed) then I'm sure you had good reasons such as watching Wentworth on Netflix or training your poodle to tap dance.
I have a good reason for it. No, it's not laziness, although that's a good guess! Ha ha!
I had a bit of an accident and now my leg is in a cast. I can't walk much, let alone stand at the stove. Cooking is now left in the hands of the junior staff (hubby and son), and consists of all things "pre-cooked" and "frozen".
I do have some old recipes that I may post when my pain meds allow. I'm having a frightful time with these mind altering, mood swing-a-ling-ing narcotics. 
WOO! 
Seriously. 
I am not myself these days.
Some would say that's a good thing, but they would be wrong (and also a titch rude).
So, yeah....that's why I've been "off blog" as they say. Or do they? I think I'm just making that up.
Not that I imagine anyone is actually following me or cares, but it's nice to pretend, isn't it?
It's nice to ramble on like a professional rambler, with no one to say, "Oh, do shut up."
Hee hee.

So, because I can't cook, I am going to amuse myself with kitchen decor. 
Hopefully, I haven't posted these snaps before. If so, let me know. You can write to me care of: Buckingham Palace. Ha ha! See? That's the medication talking (writing).
But seriously, who cares if I've posted before? It's not like I can ever find my old blog posts. It takes forever trying to weed through them all. I wish there was a more efficient way of blogging here but there isn't because it's free. 

Okay. Enough kvetching. On we go, my chums....

My first dream kitchen:
Sort of.
What I am not sure of is that if I were to use those counters around the seating area for prep work, would I not at some point spill food (tomato juice, meat fat, boiling liquid) off the counter and onto the cushions and seats? Or worse: into someone's lap?
Knowing me, that is precisely what I would do. 
Kitchen designers need to keep that in mind when creating these innocent looking dream spaces. That klutzy people like me exist. 
On the other hand, the counter space would be perfect for a buffet style meal... everything right at your finger tips. You wouldn't need to stand to reach bottle of wine, for instance.
I don't know about you but the more I know I "can't" have something (in my case, let's call it "wine"), the more I crave it. 
Stupid brain.
Stupid broken leg.
But anyhoo....
While I do like to have a gaggle of girlfriends around while I'm preparing dinner, I'm not sure I would want more formal guests (people such as your boss and his wife) watching my every move and mistake. Do I want the boss's wife to see that I need a drink to calm my nerves or that I reuse meat that falls onto the floor? No, I do not. 
Okay, you can wipe away your look of horror. We all do it. Those who say they don't are just liars. 
Also, cat hair hasn't killed anyone yet.
Ha ha!
Lighten up, will you?
Jeeeez...

I love the rustic "enchanted forest" feeling of the counter top, but not sold on whether it goes with the back splash brick tile. I feel like the designer got lazy and didn't want to make any effort beyond the counter and the floor tiles. That kind of attitude makes me want to take him (or her) and give their ear a flick. Is that violent? I mean, it wouldn't be a hard flick. Nothing would be broken. I just want a firm message sent to them, is all.

Two things I like (aside from winning lottery tickets, which I never do):
1) Islands (preferably in the Caribbean)
2) White, bright, light, clean spaces.
Although if I had this kitchen, it wouldn't stay clean for long.
It had to be said.

Okay, I know I said I liked white kitchens, but (at the risk of sounding like Eve, in "The Three Faces of Eve"), I also love colourful cabinets. 
Like these.
Something about them screams "soothing", which is likely why all mental health wards back in the day were painted this colour. ;)

There is nothing I don't like about this kitchen except the fact that it is not mine.

This is something one sees mostly in Europe and as a practicing European, I like it.
I love the benches. It's very Tyrolean Alps-ish and cozy. I would make my own colourful cushions...cushions that my buttocks would feel friendly towards. 
Since my accident, I have lost all of my buttock fat (can you imagine? It's all moved around to the stomach area!) which makes long sits painful. 
So, the only way I could sit in this very kitchen is to use both of those blue chair cushions and then what would everyone else do?
Exactly! 
I don't care, is the correct answer. 

This is my kitchen. It is a work in progress. 
Several years ago, the hubby (at my command) removed a whole bunch of cabinets with the giddy anticipation that we would actually renovate the room.
Due to unfortunate life circumstances--money shortage, laziness, procrastination-- we have done the square root of zero since.
If he (hubby) could just paint those hideous brown cabinets white, I would be a far happier person but clearly, he prefers the grumpy me. 

Well, that's it for now.
I'm starting to feel woozy.
It's time for me to ring a bell for my nurse.
Ha ha!
As if...

I want this cutting board!

GeeGee Presents: How to Have a Good Morning (3 Easy Steps)

My Tips (feel free to use or ignore, but don't say I didn't warn you).

1) Never walk between two cedar trees first thing in the morning without looking carefully unless you want to be picking an entire spider web (with spider and its breakfast buffet still attached) from your face.

2) Never pick up a damp towel from the back deck railing and shake it in a manner that will have earwigs flying onto your arm (gaaaaag!) and remaining attached to you no matter how much you seizure from the sheer horror of it. 

3) Never answer your door when you see the men in black suits with brief cases and religious tracts coming up your driveway.

4) (and this is purely optional) Delay getting out of bed for as long as you can.

Because I foolishly did get out of bed, I suffered the consequences of 1, 2 & 3. 

How I eventually got my day back on track was with a hearty breakfast followed by a slurpalicious lunch and finished off with a delightful supper that made my stomach sing instead of growl. Oh, and half a bottle of wine did the trick, too. Side note: Why is it that our stomachs growl most when we are in public and specifically in a quiet waiting room at the doctor's office or during a serious board room meeting with super serious people siting around the table (based on a true story)? Never mind. It's a mystery that will never be solved.

Loaded (Everything but the kitchen sink) Nachos

Last night, it was awfully cold here and I wasn't in the mood for a traditional dinner and I was craving something warm and warmth-inducing, so...HELLO NACHOS!
Fortunately, my company did not mind.
Unfortunately, I was busy cooking up some other appetizers and my hubby took the pictures for me, which is why they're not great.
But, you can still get the general gist of the ridiculously delicious nachos

I've never made nachos the same way or with the same ingredients or the same brand of ingredients, but that's what makes them the opposite of boring, am I right?
I think I'm right.
This time I used good gourmet quality nacho chips instead of the regular cheap popular brands (I won't name names in case they sue me).
I also used a deli brand jar of jalapenos which are spicy but not as ass burning spicy as fresh raw jalapenos. I was going to post a picture of them but then I thought, what if people reading this don't live in my area and can't buy them where they are?
So, what I recommend is that you give all the jalapenos a try and see which ones you like best.
For that matter, give all hot peppers a try. Sometimes, I use other Mexican peppers to try something new.
Life is short, chums.
Eat hot peppers until you can't.

INGREDIENTS:

• Good quality nacho chips
• Kraft (brand name) Habanero cheese (pictured below)

If you can't get this cheese, don't stress. Any cheese will do. If there's one thing I have learned in life (other than using nail polish to keep pantyhose rips from spreading) is that there is no such thing as a bad cheese.
Unless you've let that cheese sit in the glove box of your car for three days during a July heat wave.

• Jalapenos
• Salsa
• Black beans
• Corn
• Sour cream
• Green onions, chopped.
• Ground beef  (fried in oil with chopped garlic, chopped red onions, cumin powder, chili powder, paprika, onion salt, black pepper)
• Grape tomatoes, chopped in half.

I took a large glass pie plate and arranged one layer of nacho chips upon which I put shredded cheese, jalapenos, salsa and green onions. I then added another layer and added more jalapenos, ground beef, more green peppers, black beans, corn and grape tomatoes. I baked it in the oven on 400F until the cheese was melted and the nachos looked a little brown (but not burnt!).

After taking it out of the oven, I added sour cream on top.

It was positively and undeniably edible.

And made my saliva run as I was serving it to my guests.

Just goes to show you that meals don't have to be traditional to be appreciated by your belly or the bellies of your friends.

Sassy Slurpy Summer Salad

This is such an easy, quick, colourful salad. 

It tastes fresh and fruity and exotic at the same time.

But, while it is simple, it is not boring.

You can use whatever fixings you want...the super star of this salad is the dressing.

If you want to impress your friends at the next pot luck, then this is the salad for you.

Trust me. 

INGREDIENTS: (You can omit things you don't like)

1. Corn...the recipe calls for you to roast your corn and then shave the kernels off. 
It adds a smokiness that I like, but if you're tired or lazy, feel free to pop open a can of corn.

2.  Black beans...I used canned. Rinsed and drained. About half a can but it's up to you.

3.  Avocado....one, chopped or sliced.

4.  Red onion...I used a third of a medium onion. Sometimes I use chopped Scallion.

5.  Roasted bell peppers...I've made it with and without roasting peppers in oven and I prefer the roasted. I put them in the oven on high heat for about 10 minutes, until they soften. (pictured below)

6.  English cucumber...I used one, sliced up. It doesn't matter how.

7.  Tomatoes...I chopped up one whole medium sized tomato, but sometimes I use grape/cherry tomatoes.

8. Cilantro...just a few leaves, sprinkled about. Or a lot of leaves if you love it.

THE SALAD DRESSING:

• 1/4 cup of olive oil
• 3 tablespoons fresh squeezed orange juice (or bottled, but fresh tastes better)
• 3 tablespoons fresh squeezed lime juice (read above)
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 1 small clove garlic, chopped (I used a large clove and it tasted strong and good but the taste stayed in my mouth and was oozing out of my pores for days).
• salt and fresh ground pepper

It doesn't matter how you layer. Sometimes I put it on a platter and arrange it differently. Feel free to be the mad scientist I know you can be.

Just pour the dressing over the salad and toss.

Voila!

How to keep your meat fresh in the freezer.

Nothing excites me more than learning a new trick (aside from a glass of good wine), and if you want to learn something new, click on the site below:

http://www.littlethings.com/bucket-of-water-vacuum-seal/?utm_source=LTts&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_campaign=NVcomment

But, do not keep this meat in the freezer for a long time because it could also be hazardous to your health according to this site:

http://readynutrition.com/resources/vacuum-sealing-can-be-hazardous-to-your-health_12022013/

Heat Wave Induced Sandwiches

Because of this ghastly heat and soul-wilting , hair-limping humidity (40F!!!), I have not been inspired to cook indoors.
I haven't been arsed to stand over a hot barbecue grill, either. 
So, sandwiches and salads, it is!
But not just any sandwiches. 
Please! I'm not some boring old hag...although I bear a sneaky resemblance to one when I look in the mirror on Sunday mornings.
I have a sandwich grill that doesn't emit a lot of heat, so I crank the air conditioner to "Hang Meat" setting, throw a wool sweater on and fire that sandwich grill up. Nothing says "fancy" like those brown grill marks across an artisan hunk of bread. Fill this bread with a good quality cheese from a country with happy cows with Swiss accents, a fistful of smoked butcher store meats, some homemade pickles (home made by someone else, preferably), a dollop of coarse grained mustard, some hoity toity bacon flavoured or curry flavoured mayonnaise and you've got the makings for a "party in your stomach".
People will not turn up their noses at these sandwiches. 
If they do, I urge you to find new friends.

I found these snaps from Martha Stewart's website...
(You're welcome for the promotion, Martha. If you sue me, you won't get a cent from my estate as I am stone broke.)

This picture is from "Grilled Cheese Social" on Pinterest. Fabulous ideas!
It is the Thai-Inspired Breakfast Grilled Cheese, with avocado, egg, and sriracha

Remember chums...there are no boring sandwiches, only boring imaginations. 

Nutty Veggies

I have a 10 year old nephew who just told me that he hates the word "veggies". 

In fact, he can't stand it. He gets like a rash all over his body when he hears someone say it.

So, that is why I'm going to keep saying it.

One, because he would rather make a mustache out of my shaved eyebrows than ever read my blog, and 

Two, because I know it annoys him,

I am such an awesome aunt. 

High five!

And I am not just doing it out of spite for all the times he drew pictures on the walls with my make up pencil.

Nope.

So, let's move along, folks. 

Here's what you'll need:

• sesame oil
• olive oil
• butter
• soy sauce
• broccoli
• red pepper
• potatoes
• pine nuts
• ginger root (optional)
• garlic
• garlic salt

Boil taters and after draining them, don't put them back on the burner like some clod I know, unless you know you turned it off for sure. Argh...:(.

Heat olive oil and a bit of butter together. It depends on how much oil you like and how big a serving you're cooking. 

 Sprinkle potatoes with garlic salt and fry for a few minutes (at least until they look fried).

When taters done, add brockles (broccoli).

Add red peppers and pine nuts. You could probably add them to the pan with the potatoes so that they can brown up more.

Add 1 TSP grated ginger root. Drizzle with sesame oil and soy sauce. Sprinkle a bit of garlic salt. Or add any other spices you like. The sky's the limit. I don't think I've ever cooked anything with less than 8 spices before, but there is a first time for everything, as my bookie says...

Anyway...VOILA!
And don't let it turn you off just because it's healthy. 

Olympics Party Snacks

I just found these cool snack ideas for those of you who are thinking of hosting an Olympics Party or having Olympics theme days.
So, here are a few from the six sisters stuff website. All the pictures posted are from their site.

1. The Breakfast (Bagels) of Champions...
Okay, I made that title up.

2.  Candy jars...how sweet... ;)

3.  Snacks of the World...

For more ideas, go to:

http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2012/07/25-olympic-snacks-and-party-ideas.html

Great idea for road trips!

I want this!

Crazy Cake (No Eggs, Milk or Butter)

I know what you're thinking.

How on earth???

When I first saw this recipe I was skeptical, too, but it really is yummy.

It's also perfect for my nephew, who is plagued by dairy and other assorted allergies.

I have included the ingredients and how to below.

For more details and step by step instructions with pictures, go to:

http://www.sweetlittlebluebird.com/2013/03/tried-true-tuesday-crazy-cake-no-eggs.html

Chocolate Crazy Cake Recipe (No Eggs, Milk, Butter or Bowls)

Print Recipe 

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 Cups flour (all-purpose)
• 3 Tbsp. cocoa (unsweetened)
• 1 Cup sugar (All purpose sugar - Granulated Pure Cane Sugar)
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp.  salt

• 1 tsp. white vinegar
• 1 tsp.  pure vanilla extract
• 5 Tbsp. vegetable oil 
• 1 Cup water 

Directions (picture tutorial below)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Mix first 5 dry ingredients in a greased 8" square baking pan.  Make 3 depressions in dry ingredients - two small, one larger (see #3 in photo below). Pour vinegar in one depression, vanilla in the other and the vegetable oil in third larger depression. Pour water over all. Mix well until smooth.

Bake on middle rack of oven for 35 minutes. Check with toothpick to make sure it comes out clean. Cool. Top with your favorite frosting. Enjoy!

Note: Oven baking times may vary, be sure to check your cake to make sure you do not over bake.

Tip of the Day

Courtesy of Housekeeping101.com

Outdoor Entertaining Idea #1

I love these tin lanterns.
I mean, how cute are they?
(Answer: Very)
If you are like me (blonde, smart, etc...ha ha! Just kidding) and you love ambiance on the back patio as much as you like it inside your house, then this is a very inexpensive and easy way to accomplish it.

Here is a link to the site that shows you how to make them. You're welcome.

http://housekeeping101.com/tin-can-lanterns-tutorial/

Laundry Day!

Summer Spritzer (My official drink of Summer 2016)

This refreshing barely-alcoholic drink is popular all over Austria. 

How I know is because I've been and I've partaken (or is that partook?).

Now, I love red wine.

Love, love, love.

Ask anyone who knows me (especially my snoopy next door neighbour and my probation officer) and they will tell you, "GeeGee loves her red wine. Loves, loves, loves"

They may also add, "Loves it a little too much." but you should do like I do and ignore them. 

They're probably being extra judgy because their knickers are in a knot. 
Or perhaps they've had a crap day at the office; maybe they were caught sleeping at their desk, wearing a necklace made from paper clips and drooling onto a report that is past its deadline when their boss happened to pass by. 
Who knows? Human nature is a complex beastie to me. It's a mystery wrapped in a dirty sock, tucked away under the bed beneath two generations of dust-bunnies, as far as I'm concerned. 

So, yes to red room temperature wine but not on a day when the top layer of my skin is melting off in the scorching heat. 

Then, I/you want to do what the Austrians do...

You make a "summer spritzer".

A normal spritzer is half chilled white wine and half sparkling mineral water.

A summer spritzer calls for 1/8 white wine (must be good quality) and 7/8 sparkling mineral water.

Some people use club soda. 

I do not.

I find it harsh. 
I use Pellegrino and it has not disappointed my taste buds.

The Austrians add a slice of lemon on top.

I also add freshly picked (not picked by me..get real!) field strawberries because they infuse the drink with more flavour. 

You can drink pitchers of this stuff (and people do) and not get drunk and not have a massive hangover the next day.
Especially if you (in keeping with the Austrians trends) consume large quantities of schnitzel with your spritzers.

If this isn't worth celebrating, I don't know what is.

Cheers!

P.S. I was kidding about the probation officer.
P.P.S. I was not kidding about my snoopy neighbour. 
(More on her another day...)

Turkey Meatballs Parmigiana

I want to preface this recipe by letting y'all know that I did not want to cook last night.

I had to have emergency dental surgery for a broken tooth. Owie-ow-ow! Not gonna lie. It hurt like a son-of-a-witch. I was frozen up to the eyeball and couldn't wink or blink for two hours. On top of that. my face looked like I'd had a stroke. The ouchie side drooped, causing my jaw to hang to my shoulder. When I smiled, I bore a suspicious resemblance to those scary clowns we all fear in our dreams. All I could manage was a crazy leer because only one side of my mouth would turn up. I looked like a freak who could be billed as the head act in a freak show. I think you get the picture now. 

This is me drinking wine last night:
It cooled off from 158 degrees to 58 degrees, so I was cold for a change.

It still hurts despite two Percocet tablets. 

But, what was the question?

Ah, yes. 

Did I feel like cooking dinner?

Heck to the nyet.

That's my version of Russian slang for no.

But, I still had meat thawed out and close to its retirement.
I still had a growl in my belly.
I still had other empty mouths to feed. 

You know the drill.

So, I decided to make meatball parmigiana. 

I saw a picture of ground chicken meatballs on some cooking blog, but I didn't catch the recipe (and wasn't in the mood to grind my own chicken, y'all), so I had to wing it. But, not as in chicken wings winging it. Pay attention!

Winging it is good for adrenaline, I find. Nothing makes me feel like I'm in a dark alley with a rabid dog chasing me more than winging it with a recipe. 

In other words, it makes me feel alive in the most stressed out way possible.
Is that a good thing? Only my therapist knows for sure.

Anyway...here is my made up version of what I think meatball parm is.

INGREDIENTS

For the meat balls:

Minced turkey.

1 egg

Gluten free bread crumbs (you can use the normal ones)

Garlic powder

Italian seasonings (thyme, oregano, basil)

Spicy ketchup

tsp onion soup mix

salt and pepper

For the sauce

Olive oil for frying

1 large can of diced, stewed or plum tomatoes (pureed by my hand wand)
Chopped red onion (however much you like
Chopped red pepper (about a half)
Cup of chopped spinach
Minced clove of garlic
Splash of red wine
Italian seasonings of choice
Salt and pepper to taste
Crushed chilies (optional)

Directions

Pour a little oil into a pan that is on med high heat. Just enough to wet all the veggies.
Add onions and red peppers first for a couple of minutes and then add the garlic and spinach.

Add your meatballs...

Turn them over...
My daughter would respond to this with an insouciant DUH! but they she would be precisely the type who would not turn her meatballs over. Do not be my daughter! Be me, instead!

Add seasoned tomato sauce. By seasoned, I mean, use all the Italian spices in your cupboard. 
Here's a toast (clink, clink) to hoping you have more than one. If you do only have one Italian spice, may I ask WHY???
Okay, okay. Judge not lest ye be judged...just go ahead and toss it in.
But, put this on your next shopping list:
More Italian spices!
ha ha...

Add red wine...about half a cup. Try not to drink all your wine before this step.

Add shredded Asiago or Parmesan or Romano cheese. Because the wine makes your sauce sweet, a sharp cheese is needed for balance. Is this a universal law? Who knows? Is it my law? You bet!

Cook pasta of your choice (mine was Rotini) and dig in!
Grate more cheese on top and sprinkle some fresh basil.
I didn't because:
1) I was too hungry to go that extra mile.
2) I did not have company over for dinner and hence, nobody to impress.